Do you have a friend or family member that upsets you?
Do you often hear them say things like “That’s hard to do, are you sure you’ll be able to do it?” or “Kathy works all the time, she cares more about work than her kids!” or “She’s a stay-at-home mom, what does she even do all day?”
We’ve all had the experience of a negative friend, family member, or co-worker in our life.
Like your close mom pal who likes to create drama and gossips a lot. It could be someone who complains all the time, but never puts any effort to find a solution to their problem.
Even worse, that someone asks for advice but immediately shoots it down and dismisses it.
Dealing with a negative person whom you’re not connected to is different than someone who is close to you. It’s easier to let go of the attitude you received at the department store than it is someone who you see every day like a family member or close friend.
If you face this problem, it will drain your energy real fast.
Being a mom is already taxing enough. You will have the extra burden of negative people bringing you down. You might think it’s not a big deal, but if you’re not careful it can pull you in, and disrupt your life.
So, how can you effectively deal with negative people? Here are 3 strategies that you can use today.
3 Ways You Can Deal with Negative People
1) Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a fundamental skill in relationships. If the negativity is causing you stress and is making you uncomfortable, then it’s a sign you need to set boundaries.
You cannot control the negative behavior, but you can control whether or not you engage and accept that negativity into your own thinking and feeling.
If you are being direct in setting boundaries but are still facing negativity, then you may have to limit the amount of time you spend with them.
It might be hard to do in the beginning, especially if you’re not used to asserting your boundaries but it’s vital that you minimize the negativity in your life.
Reducing your exposure will make you less stressed and happier. That is something all moms need, so be proactive!
Keep practicing and asserting your boundaries.
2) Detach, Neutralize, and Avoid
Sometimes people want to vent or get a reaction from you, so understand that it is a projection of them and not you.
You can be neutral without getting sucked into the negativity. A good way to do this is to emotionally detach yourself from the conversation.
You can neutralize the conversation by asking something off topic like “I can see you’re offended by her comment. Did you hear the good news? Company XYZ raised 50K for A Wonderful Charity. Isn’t that great?!”
By asking this question you are changing the subject to something positive and unrelated to the conversation. It is also likely that the person trying to create drama will get the hint and back off.
If maintaining a neutral stance still doesn’t shake off the Negative Nellies, avoiding them is your next step. Avoiding a negative person doesn’t make you a coward, sometimes it’s the best way to handle them.
3) Change Your Crowd
You’ve probably heard many times the saying ‘You are the five people you most surround yourself with.’ It couldn’t be truer.
Surrounding yourself with positive people and positive environments will uplift you. It will help you overcome everyday obstacles and be your best self. You will be healthier and so will your family.
Always seek out the best people and environments.
When you are trying to live your best life, it’s never easy. It takes a bit of time and effort but so worth it!
Sometimes people are having a hard day and aren’t looking to drag you down.
If someone you know is being negative but is not usually like this, show some compassion, listen and help them out by setting a positive example.
Be compassionate but don’t let it burden you. You can support them, but it is their problem to solve. Use these 3 strategies to preserve your well-being and live your life without negativity.
Great article Melanie – I think what you’re saying is absolutely correct. 🙂
Funnily enough, I have a picture saying “You are the five people you most surround yourself with” on my desk!
Thanks for your comment! Glad you liked the article. Good idea to have the quote at your desk. It’s a nice reminder to keep the good vibes flowing!
hey. I like this. you are absolutely right, when you stay around negative people too long it starts to affect you so it is better to distance yourself as soon as possible.
Glad you like it! We can all be a bit negative at times and that’s human. But it’s the people who thrive on bringing others down with their negativity, that you want to avoid. As they say, Nip it in the bud! 🙂